The Twelve Anticipations

The Twelve Anticipations

Ahhh summer. The long dog days and lamp-lit evenings teased me into thinking that this would be the year that I’d actually use the word, “vacation” in our summer vacation. Visions of my feet dangling in our pool danced in my head. The thought of NOT having to bake yet another dozen cookies or car pool a load of children to their school, youth group or sports destinations tantalized my very soul! Perhaps this would be the year I would really be able to finish one of sixteen novellas loaned to me by my girlfriends?

Remember counting down the days until that final school bell rang? I don’t know about you but I had my locker cleaned out by Easter vacation, parties planned to perfection and my boy stalking routes down to a science. I remember how the last few days of school lingered like the smell of garbage. I just wanted out of the putrid offense to my being!

Now as an “adult,” my summer vacation is of course limited to short holidays checkered throughout my kids very short two-and-a-half months off the school year frenzied merry-go-round. The price of gas, short of change and ever looming food prices forced us to vaca at home. Though it is a drawback, my kids and I actually relish in the prospect of gardening and having friends sleep over. I am actually looking forward to camp Wycoff which basically entails a dome tent on our lawn and smores on our stove. Perhaps we could catch up on our movie and game nights? My lazy summer fantasy continued with one of my favorite quotes by one of my favorite essayists, the endearment of summer and all that it promises.

"I must have leave in the fullness of my soul to regret the abolition, and doing away with altogether, of those consolatory interstices and sprinklings of freedom, through the four seasons, the red-letter days, now become to all intents and purposes, dead-letter days ...
These were bright visitations in the scholars and clerk’s life, far off their coming shone.”Charles Lamb

Unfortunately, I am the reincarnated version of our dearly departed iconic character, Lucy Ricardo complete with fiasco's of good intentions and schedules gone very, very wrong. The following is why some species eat their young and bite the heads off their mates.

On the first countdown day to summer vacation my dear family gave to me
A transverse break of my son’s right wrist after he played “Thunder dome” wrestling game

On the second countdown day to summer vacation my dear family gave to me,
Two last-minute field trips that needed my chaperon capabilities and a transverse break of my son’s wrist


On the third countdown day to summer vacation, my dear family gave to me,
Three last-minute school functions that each needed 2-dozen homemade cookies, two chaperoned field trips and a transverse break of my son’s right wrist.


On the fourth countdown day to summer vacation, my dear family gave to me
Four bounced checks, three school functions, two chaperoned field trips and a transverse break of my son’s right wrist

On the fifth countdown day to summer vacation, my dear family gave to me
Five farting boys
(who needed rides),
four bounced checks, three school functions, two field trips and a transverse break of my son’s right wrist

On the sixth countdown day to summer vacation my dear family gave to me
Six teacher presents to buy, five farting boys, four bounced checks, three school functions, two field trips and a transverse break of my son’s right wrist.

On the seventh countdown day to summer vacation my dear family gave to me
Seven girls not sleeping, six teacher presents to buy, five farting boys, four bounced checks, three school functions, two field trips and a transverse break of my son’s right wrist.

On the Eighth countdown day to summer vacation, my dear family gave to me
Eight loads of laundry, seven girls not sleeping, six teacher presents, five farting boys, four bounced checks, three school functions, two field trips and a transverse break of my son’s right wrist.

On the ninth countdown day to summer vacation, my dear family gave to me
Nine assignments looming, eight loads of laundry, seven girls not sleeping, six teacher presents, five farting boys, four bounced checks, three school functions, two field trips and a transverse break of my son’s right wrist.

On the tenth countdown day to summer vacation my dear family gave to me
Ten commandments nearly broken, nine assignments looming, eight loads of laundry, seven girls not sleeping, six teacher presents, five farting boys, four bounced checks, three school functions, two field trips and a transverse break of my son’s right wrist.

On the eleventh countdown day to summer vacation, my dear family gave to me
Eleven election solicitations, ten commandments almost broken, nine assignments looming, eight loads of laundry, seven girls not sleeping, six teacher presents, five farting boys, four bounced checks, three school functions, two field trips and a transverse break of my son’s right wrist.

On the twelfth countdown day to summer vacation, my dear family gave to me
Twelve overdue movie rentals, eleven election solicitations, ten commandments almost broken, nine assignments looming, eight loads of laundry, seven girls not sleeping, six teacher presents, five farting boys, four bounced checks, three school functions, two field trips and a transverse break of my son’s right wrist.


All Rights Reserved, Anne Wycoff, June 2008